Warning: this has turned into a tearjerker for some reason so if you're averse to blubbering, don't read further!
I gave her
one of my usual looks that told her she was getting nowhere.
And
you're wrong to say she's done nothing to me. She knew before Thanksgiving what
condition I was in. She would have sensed it but she was just too intent on
winning you over so she simply didn't bother to keep her claws off you and you
were so distracted by her boobs all night that you didn't think about what you learnt
when you came back, such as the information about Johnny's sleeping arrangement
in this house. Then it was all too late and you did what you did.
She saw my
grimace and mercifully refrained from further mention of my deed.
"That's
all in the past, Melissa. Move on, we all have to."
If you've
never had ghostly eyes fixed on you, you would never know the chill that ran
through me when I saw Melissa's eyes flashing at me.
That's
another thing Selena has stood in the way of. The truth she burnt was
my path out of this limbo. Perhaps you should ask your new wife why
she did that? Why was she so afraid you'd read the truth?
Her agitation
was obvious as the shimmering intensified.
If
you don't read the truth Ian, I will never have absolution and neither will you
and neither of us will ever be freed from this situation. For all her brains,
Selena simply can't understand what she did.
Then the
shimmering stopped but the sinister expression that replaced it and spread
across Melissa's face sent more chills running through me.
Selena
has no idea what her childish selfish act has done but soon, my dear big sister
will find out the price she has to pay for it.
"Don't
you dare hurt her and my child!" I yelled at Melissa.
She's
my child too Ian! But it's out of my hands now. Selena was greedy and
spiteful, she happily seduced you using what she learnt from my diary but chose
to kill the truth She killed a part of me and any chance I had of absolution.
The minute she burnt the truth, she set things in motion that no one
can stop. Just like you did when you replaced the fuses.
Fear pulsed
in every cell of my body as I heard what she said . Of course she knew what I
had done. Before I could even begin to explain myself, she disappeared.
Just what did
she mean about Selena's child being her child too? What will happen to
us?Questions with no answers danced restlessly through my mind till my guts
knotted in anxiety.
A tentative twist
of the handle told me Selena had finally returned to our bedroom.
"Is she
gone?"
Her timid
question seemed at odds with her earlier defiance and rage. She looked in equal
parts fearful and angry as she walked into the room, after verifying that no
apparition was awaiting her in the room.
"How
could she? Why can't she leave us alone?" She whined as she sat herself
down on the bed next to me. Her eyes kept watching me as she tried to decipher
my mood.
I opted for
the direct approach.
"What
did you do to Melissa's diary?"
She
sputtered, as if outraged by my question before she replied.
"Nothing!
I told you. Don't you trust me?"
"Look,
Selena, whatever you did, we need to rectify it. The safety of our child and
you may be at stake."
"Did she
threaten us?" Her eyes rounded in shock and then flamed with rage.
"How dare that bitch do this! She's not getting away with it."
No matter how
I pleaded and cajoled, there was no getting through to Selena. Old rivalries
never die, even death it seems could not stop the bitter struggle between the
two sisters.
****
After several
days of looking around her to ascertain she was not stalked by some ghostly
apparition of her hated sister, Selena decided she was in the clear. Things
were tense and what didn't help was the absence of the comforting figure that the
housekeeper had become for the children. They fretted and whined and then they
refused to eat. Selena saw in this the wicked scheme of her sister in
interfering and therefore driving a wedge between us and the children. She
continued in her determination to rid all remaining influence of Melissa. She
removed Melissa's photos from all corners of the house and dumped them in the
basement. Even Melissa's favourite china had to go. She virtually replaced
everything that Melissa had bought or used in the house. The only place that
was closed off to her was the children's room, which was a sore point for her.
I couldn't resist Piper's pleading eyes and Steve's whiny tantrums so their
room remained beyond the reach of Selena's campaign. Selena wasn't pleased and
she showed her displeasure every chance she had. For one, she refused to cook
after the children ate virtually none of the dinner she cooked the day the
housekeeper left, hence we had had takeout every night. Then she wanted to hire
part-time help to do the household chores which she was hopeless with. I agreed
but somehow she was still unhappy, complaining that the new help didn't know
how to get the chores done right. Finally, three days before Halloween, the
current reversed.
The new hire
quit because she couldn't take the children's mess and Selena's highhandedness.
The laundry was undone, including Selena's important stuff. The kitchen sink
was clogged and dishes were left unwashed. The house was in a mess. We had
takeout for dinner again and even Selena was getting tired of her favourite
deliveries. So when Steve started whining about how awful the limp fries were
and how he needed that T-shirt for school tomorrow which was missing
despite it never having left the house, Selena apparently had enough. She
slapped her hand on the table, making the food and soda jump while I eyed her
cautiously.
"That's
it! Get that old woman back here if you want. Just make sure she stays out of
my way and doesn't interfere with us."
Selena's
baleful glare as she stalked off to the bedroom was counterbalanced by the
children's gleeful smiles as they realised they had won the battle. I was just
relieved that I didn't have to do all the chores and would have time to work on
my Mustang.
Little did we
know that disaster was just round the corner.
****
Halloween in
our household was marked by 2 main traditions: unbelievable loads of candy,
which we often had to hide from Steve who would demolish everything otherwise,
and homemade costumes. Melissa never bought any of the costumes the kids wanted to
wear for Halloween, she made them together with the kids. It was a great
bonding process. The only time that tradition was broken was
last year when she retreated into alcohol. Even then, she had helped the
housekeeper put together something for the kids. Piper beg me to
allow the housekeeper, who had graciously agreed to come back after the kids
both got on the phone and excitedly asked when she was returning, to get
Melissa's stuff which Selena had relegated to the basement along with her
photos.
"Mommy
always kept her scrapbooks and sewing stuff so I'm sure we can construct a
costume with the cloth she kept and all the pictures she stuck in her
scrapbook."
We spent much
of the afternoon sorting out through the mess that Selena had created as she
tossed Melissa's stuff in a haphazard manner around the basement. I
had the good grace to blush as the housekeeper tut-tutted when she saw how
carelessly my late wife's belongings were treated. We were briefly distracted
when Piper found an album of photos of our family. The memories of all the good
years we had before I discovered her affair with Johnny came flooding
back. I could hardly keep the tears from my eyes when I saw how Melissa
had pieced together our wedding photos which I'd torn in my fury and stuck them
into the album. She had written on abeautiful piece of paper, which I
recognised as hotel stationery from our honeymoon destination, the words
"I won't let us go, I will repair what I've broken" The words that
followed were too smudged with what looked like water stains though I thought I
could make out the words "love" at some point. I shook my head and wondered
why I was letting this all get to me again. I thought I'd buried all the
emotion I had in me with regards to Melissa along with the guilt when I finally decided
to make my relationship with Selena a permanent one.
The whisper
in my mind echoed the doubts that rose at that point.
Would
you have given us a second chance if you saw this before Thanksgiving?
I didn't need
to turn around to see the whisper of air on my back to know Melissa had
appeared. Then the voice of Selena sounded out and we all hurried upstairs
before she could throw one of her tantrums again. Curiously, neither the
housekeeper nor Piper seemed to notice the glowing figure I caught a
glimpse of out of the corner of my eye before it disappeared.
Upstairs,
Selena looked in growing disapproval and anger as the housekeeper and Piper
brought a whole load of Melissa's stuff upstairs. They wisely scooted off to
the children's room before Selena could make any noise. Selena was moody the
rest of the night. Everything seemed to be the usual buzz of a Halloween bustle
the next day till early evening when the housekeeper and Piper
unveiled the kids' Halloween costume. I'd been working quietly in the
garage on my Mustang when Steve came running in and gasped out,
"Aunt Selena is going crazy on Piper!"
I groaned
inwardly thinking how my quiet evening was going to hell. I
didn't know how accurate I was going to be.
Selena was in
full rage, towering over Piper, the housekeeper was in the middle
trying to shield my daughter from her aunt.
"How
dare you! Give me that diary and get rid of all those stupid things! You will
stop helping your stupid mother torture your father and me!"
Piper looked
slightly worried but the steely determination she inherited from Melissa and me
was clearly there as she struggled to hold onto Melissa's scrapbooks and what
looked like a battered journal that had pages torn from it. Suddenly, I
realised what it was, it was Melissa's diary.
Selena had not noticed me
standing there, neither had Piper, whose focus was on the centre of contention:
the diary. They struggled and Piper, for all her determination, was losing to
the strength of an adult. Yet she clung on, unwilling to lose her mother's
treasured journal.
"No! I won't let you
burn mommy's book."
"Let go you brat!"
Selena yelled, stunning both the housekeeper and me with her open hostility
towards the child.
"You're just like that
stupid bitch! Well, I'm not going to let her or her brat win again!"
With that Selena raised her
hand, ready to slap my eldest. The housekeeper pulled Piper to her side,
forcing the kid to let go off the diary. I'd started forward, incensed by the
way she treated my child. Selena's look
of triumph at having won the battle was brief.The voice that rang out stunned
us all.
If
you ever try to lay a hand on my children again, you will hurt beyond what you
can imagine.
Selena stared
in silent fear at her dead sister, her hands clutching the diary almost
nervelessly. The feel of the journal in her hands might have triggered a sense
of defiant rage in her for Selena began to straighten herself . Clutching the
diary in one hand, she took out a lighter and began brandishing the lighter and
the diary in front of her.
"I'm not
afraid of you and I won't let you get away with it bitch! Threaten me one more
time and this goes up in flames forever!" Selena practically snarled the
last line. As Melissa watched with anguish on her face, Piper ran
forward, yelling, "No! Mommy! Your diary!"
My little
girl had ran forward, snatching at the diary at the instant that Selena's
lighter touched the cover. I watched in horror as her hands were about to come
into contact with the flame when Melissa was able, by some force unknown, to
whisk our little girl away from harm. I'd stepped forward and grabbed my
daughter before she could endanger herself once again. Looking up, I saw
Melissa's face overrun with iridescent drops of tears as she watched our
daughter struggling to reach out to touch her, yelling "Mommy" all
the time. Whatever force she had harnessed had deserted her and her
outstretched hand barely made contact with our daughter's cheek. Steve had
stood beside me through much of the harrowing struggle and when Melissa
stretched out her hand towards Piper, he yelled and ran forward to hug his
mother. Both our kids kept yelling "Mommy" as Melissa looked
helplessly at them both and faded. At the sight of my kids' faces with their
expressions of devastation,my heart felt as if it were ripped out of the cavity
in my chest and shredded. I knew I was largely responsible for the scene that
played out in front of me.
"Ian , I
can explain," Selena stuttered. I brushed her aside with the detachment
that I'd shown Melissa a year ago. She shrunk back. The housekeeper, having
seen the kids were safe, had proceeded to save the diary, which had been a
little damaged by the flame that scarred its cover. When she was satisfied that
the book was safe to handle, she handed it back to Piper who hugged it while
muttering "Mommy's book" as Steve looked at her in askance. both
sister and brother eventually calmed down and were reassured enough to be
persuaded to prepare themselves for the Halloween party. Neither seemed to
question the curious sight of their dead mother suddenly appearing/ late
mother's sudden appearance. It was only months later that Piper explained that
the housekeeper had told them their mommy had gone away to heaven but would be
watching over them. So neither of them were too surprised that she had
reappeared that evening to defend Piper.
After the
kids were sent on their way to their Halloween candy rounds, having hidden
their mother's diary in a secure place, I returned to my bedroom. Selena was
sitting on our bed, looking anxiously at me when I entered.
"Ian,"
she began tentatively, "I can explain."
I held up my
hand and simply said," Cut out everything else, just tell me why?"
She didn't
pretend not to know what I was referring to.
"Yes,
I'd gone into your office the day after Melissa's funeral and found Melissa's
diary. I was curious, and-and worried because she'd hurt you so badly. I'd read
the accident report and I knew why you felt so bad. So--so when I had read her
diary, I was afraid that it would hurt you even more or make you feel worse.
S-so..so I burnt part of her diary."
"What
would have hurt me? Her words? Did she insult me? Or maybe she humiliated me by
describing her 8 years of happiness with Johnny?"
I asked,
hoping against hope that Selena would finally take the chance to confess since
she had no idea that I'd read at least part of Melissa's diary.
But she
persisted in lying.
"Yes,
most of that diary was her gloating about her affair with Johnny. She hardly
mentioned you or the kids."
I stared at
the woman I'd married, who I'd thought I'd had feelings for over the years, who
I thought loved me truly as she lied without even blinking. If anyone had asked
me six months ago which sister was more duplicitous, I would have had no
trouble answering Melissa. Now, I wasn't so sure. I began taking stuff out of
my drawers and moving them into a small bag I'd taken out of the closet. Selena
watched me nervously.
"What
are you doing?"
"I can't
sleep next to someone who keeps lying to me, not when we agreed that we
wouldn't do that to each other," I snarled as I began movingmy stuff at a
faster pace.
"But I
didn't lie..."
"Save
it, Selena, I read part of Melissa's diary and I know the truth," I
blurted out as she paled and her hand moved to her mouth.
I spotted the
small bag of ashes that the housekeeper had handed to me scarcely a month ago
and took it out of the drawers that I'd stashed it in. Moving faster than I've
ever seen her do so, Selena snatch the bag out of my hands and hurled it against
the wall.
"Damn
you Ian! How could you let that dead bitch and her pathetic words tear us
apart!"
The bag of
ashes hit the wall and then flopped to the ground, spilling ashes, some of
which floated in the air. Then it happened. A tiny glow initially, then it
seemed to burst into a glorious flame-like incandescence that spread
across the walls of the room. It felt like minutes but it had to be mere
seconds as pages and pages of Melissa's handwriting flashed across the walls
like they were projected for my viewing. It was flashing too rapidly for me to
read properly, but the emotion contained in them was palpable. It
was as if I could feel Melissa's emotions as she wrote those words.
Misery, confusion, bitterness, fear, anger and above all, love. My cheating slut
of a wife was in love with me but realised
it only too late when I was stubbornly blind and deaf to all
her overtures and her truth. I wasn't aware that tears were streaming down
my cheeks till my vision blurred and the sounds of broken gasping sobs reached
me. It took a while but I recognised my own sounds of grief and
realised my blurred vision was a result of the tears that poured out of my eyes
unbidden.
Thank
you Ian.. I can leave now..
Melissa appeared
as the glow in the room dimmed slightly. Her eyes were filled with tears and
what I now recognise as love.
'No!I really
need you here, please, Melissa!' I screamed in my mind as I found my voice
stuck in my throat. I barely heard the background noise of Selena yelling and
cursing as she threw every object possible at the walls.
I only felt
the light whisper of air that brushed my forehead as the glow faded and Melissa
shimmered till all that was left were those iridescent teardrops that coursed down
her cheeks when she kissed me.
I captured the iridescent
drops in my hand, thinking that was the very last bit of Melissa I'd have left.
Bringing them to my lips, I kissed them, feeling the mingling of her tears and
mine. The hidden reservoir of bitterness I'd carried within me against Melissa
all this time faded, leaving not just a hollow emptiness but also the ache of
regret.
Check back tomorrow for the conclusion!
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