Destroying Fantasies 1.2

And here it is, the second half of Destroying Fantasies 1.2. Enjoy!

Casting around for a solution, Will idly searched for a cheated spouse forum or website that could offer some clues. He clicked on the first link and landed on the page of a forum on a website offering guidance for spouses who had been betrayed by their partners. The website owner had offered a hotline to call for spouses who needed immediate or urgent help.  Will dialled and within minutes was speaking to an older lady who reminded him of an old aunt who offered a listening ear and practical advice.

Ellen, as she called herself, was brutally frank about her own background. She had been a cheater herself and in the course of her adulterous affair, destroyed her own family and marriage. She now hoped to use her experience and help others save their marriages and families where possible.

"Now Will, I'm not gonna lie to you. It ain't gonna be easy. Heck, it's gonna be real tough. And in the end, you may not even succeed in putting yourselves back together again. But at least you know you've tried."

Will listened as she droned on, only two points that Ellen made really registered in his mind: Ellen had been adamant that he had to try to understand why Ashley had an affair, that involved really understanding how she thought rather than judging her and getting angry at her. And even more important than that, he had to decide after understanding everything, whether there was a marriage worth putting back together or if they were better off parting. Will wasn’t sure about the latter but he knew losing to Jackass wasn’t an option. As for understanding Ashley, all he wanted to understand was how to hurt her, preferably in ways that would leave her in as much pain as he was, pain that was without physical manifestation and could have no analgesic solution.

Ellen sighed after the call ended. Another young couple in trouble. For some reason, she couldn't shake the feeling that the wife sounded much like her in her younger days, wilful, rebellious, always trying to escape the confines of social rules and censure. Not realising the destructive impact of stepping out. Not caring about anything but herself. Her eyes involuntarily ran across the pictures on her desk. The yellow, tattered picture of a young couple on their wedding day. The same couple a few years later with young kids, only now the wife's face was showing exhaustion, depression and restlessness. "What's the use of regret?" she asked herself silently as a stray tear ran down her face at the memory of all that she had lost in exchange for what had been a hedonistic fling.

****

Will literally slept on the ideas that Ellen had suggested.  When he woke up, he knew what he was going to do. No, he wasn't going to confront Ashley with what he knew of her affair. He was going to do things his way. He was going to tackle the situation as he would a plot or storyline. He knew he'd to put some distance between his emotions and Ashley's account of her affair. And the best way for a writer to do it was to look at the affair dispassionately, while distancing himself from the events like a third person narrator or observer. He struggled to keep his emotions in check. The anger still swept over him at times but he was able to keep it in control. The writing served to express those repressed emotions he couldn’t otherwise voice.

Days turned into weeks and finally after the quietest and most uncomfortable Christmas and New Year's they had ever spent together, Will decided it was time to put Ashley to the test. Right after the new school term started, Will told Ashley he was going to have to go on another school trip as a chaperone.

He'd asked Ashley if she was going to go over to Jackass' place and she'd swore she wasn't going to. Will cautioned his wife against meeting Jackass again but left half-convinced that she would succumb. The only difference was he now had everything set up to catch the two adulterers.

Can Ashley really hold out?

Will snorted as he contemplated the situation.

After all, she had her first fuckfest with that bastard the last trip I'd made.

Will thought cynically as he sat watching the monitor of his laptop in the motel room he'd booked for two nights. He steeled himself against the irrational flicker of hope that Ashley could resist betraying him.

Hell, she’d hardly waited for me to be out of the house before she went on that joyride with Jackass on his bike. Then she lied to me when I called and then fucked the guy at his house. She even stayed at his place that night and fucked him again the next day.

Will’s hands clenched in anger as he recalled the details of his wife's affair as revealed in her audio journal entries. He also recalled the humiliation he felt when she described the guilt and resistance she felt when he tried to make love to her upon his return. Though it was not the first time he'd thought about Ashley’s reaction and behaviour, the pain and rage had not lessened with time. If anything, it lay like an open wound, raw and ugly, flaring up at the gentlest touch of memory.

Despite his pessimism, Ashley didn't budge from the house. Hope flared despite Will’s attempt to resist it.

Perhaps Ashley truly wanted to work on their marriage.

Will wondered even if Ashley wanted to save their marriage, would he want whatever was left, or was he just reluctant to hand all to the assholes who betrayed him? Will decided to return home. Just as he quietly pulled into the street outside his house, however, the computer screen streaming live feed from the cameras aimed at Jackass' house showed Ashley deep in conversation with Jackass. The audio wasn't great but what Will heard and saw set his jaw tight.

Aww, isn't that sweet, they were having a 'tragic lovers farewell'.

Will’s lip curled in disdain for the deluded pair who acted like some amateur re-enactment of star crossed lovers forced to part rather than adulterous fuckers ending their sordid little affair.

Good lord, they're both delusional!

Will wondered if both were so lost in their roles and fantasies that neither could see what they really were.

If this was method acting, they are a couple of idiots who have deliberately blinded themselves to reality.  

It was a moment of epiphany that Will did not recognise till weeks later when he read what he'd written in his manuscript.

At that point, anger reigned and even the bitterly funny sight of Ashley’s stunned guilt did nothing to assuage his anger and the need to punish her. The resulting disastrous threesome at the motel room didn't provide Will with any satisfaction.

He recalled the events of that night with a grimace but acknowledged that fucking Ashley had curiously started them on the process of removing those awkward barriers between them. The more cynical part of Will's mind told him that since he wasn't yet getting a divorce as yet, he might as well enjoy the fucking privileges of being her husband since God knows he'd already suffered all the downsides.

.

Weeks turned into months and Will found nothing on any of the monitoring to suggest that Ashley was communicating or fucking the Jackass next door.  Then Jackass moved away. He'd seen the look of pain and loss when Ashley saw the movers and had pulled her upstairs. He'd given his best performance that day, fucking his errant wife's brains out. It was only made possible by his determination to distract his wife and also a petty urge to prove himself. He'd left their windows open, knowing full well Jackass would hear Ashley’s screams and his own sounds of satisfaction.

It provided him some satisfaction to see the hurt and anger on Jackass' face as he looked towards their house as Ashley’s cries floated down to him. That look alone, captured by the camera facing Jackass' house made Will count the expenditure on the monitoring devices money well spent.

He'd stopped seeing Ashley as the woman he loved but rather as a female target he'd to conquer. There was no gentleness that day, he'd eaten her out, pounded her till she was sore and his cock actually hurt when he pulled out of her. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd had all three of her holes and where they had fucked. Everything was a mass of hard fucking and animalistic pleasure.

Will pretended sleep as he felt Ashley wake up in the night. She'd walked downstairs and he'd followed silently after giving her a little head start.  Ashley’s expression and what she talked about in the audio journals she'd continue keeping even after the psychiatrist had ended that particular project gave Will some satisfaction.

I saw Ashley staring out at the empty dark house next door. The look of pain that lay on her face made me wonder if she was feeling the loss of her fantasy or the loss of her lover. Both options didn't sit well in my gut. They curled and twisted like snakes in the pit of my stomach and spat out poison that rose like bile to my throat. God, how I hated my wife.

When Ashley started to move away, Bill snuck back upstairs and pretended to sleep. He felt Ashley snuggle up and spoon with him. It was all he could do not to push her away.

What was I? Her back up security blanket? I resented her coming to me after obviously getting all cracked up over her bad boy lover leaving. For the first time since we embarked on the road to reconciling, I wanted to hurt her. I just needed to think of a way to do so. A way that would tell her in as few words as possible "Take that, bitch! I hope you suffer!"

With that thought in mind, Bill drifted off to sleep with a genuine smile on his face. The first smile Bill had since the discovery of the affair.

Will looked in satisfaction at what he’d written. Bill’s satisfaction at his wife’s pain mirrored Will’s own secret delight at Ashley’s pain, life being reflected in the fiction he wrote. Before the discovery of the affair, Will would have been horrified at the thought of feeling pleasure at Ashley's pain. Now, his pain demanded satisfaction in kind.

The turmoil of recent months provided Will with rich material for his writing. Without consciously noting his progress, Will was surprised when he found his manuscript at the 3/4 mark. Looking over what he'd written, he realised he'd expiated much of his frustration through his writing. It was catharsis and had brought his writing to a new level. Bill’s emotions coloured the entire narrative, his pain radiated off each page.

While Will had set out to write a story from Ashley's perspective, he ended up psychoanalysing her. Will didn’t merely transcribe Ashley's thoughts and feelings, he saw her weaknesses, vulnerability and insecurity. Something Ashley either refused to face up to or suppressed in her blind impulse to find escape from the mundane routine of life. She was having a quarter-life crisis and was trying in her own way to return to the carefree existence of her college days. Hence her reversion to the hang ups she had back in college, her fascination with the "bad boy" type she'd liked before him. And that teen rebellion that opposed everything social mores dictated or that adults approved of. Her reaction and solution to adult problems and adult life was that of a teen's - rebellion and escapism.

He'd posted a version detailing Ashley’s perspective on erotica websites and it was the subject of debate and controversy. Encouraged by the response, Will started sending copies of the manuscript to agents and publishers.   Then came the unexpected.

An email arrived from an agent who expressed interest in his book, though the manuscript was incomplete. The email contained a request for a meeting to discuss matters. Will cautioned himself against excessive expectations since those had brought nothing but disappointment on earlier occasions. The sight of the blonde, slightly messy but enthusiastic agent made his heart sink. She didn't look too experienced. The discussion buoyed his spirits however since she seemed genuinely interested in the story, which was a refreshing change from the run-of-the-mill agents who were more interested in deals rather than the book. She was also refreshingly honest, cautioning him against expecting a bestseller or becoming a millionaire from that one book. "Not everyone is a closet EL James waiting to burst onto the scene," she said sagely, displaying wisdom which belied her age.

Will tensed when his agent probed a little deeper into the origins of his plot. Her honesty, however, encouraged him to let slip that it was partly based on a couple he knew. The gimlet-eyed look she gave him ensured Will knew she suspected something. Neither pressed the issue since they knew at a first meeting, no one would be willing to show all their cards.

 

They ended the meeting with his agent promising to call if she had an offer from a publisher and Will signing a representation contract contingent on his getting a book deal.

Will tensed when his agent probed a little deeper into the origins of his plot. Her honesty, however, encouraged him to let slip that it was partly based on a couple he knew. The gimlet-eyed look she gave him ensured Will knew she suspected something. Neither pressed the issue since they knew at a first meeting, no one would be willing to show all their cards.

 

They ended the meeting with his agent promising to call if she had an offer from a publisher and Will signing a representation contract contingent on his getting a book deal.

****

How do you defeat an illusion?

That was the question haunting Will as he heard the last of Ashley's audio journal entries sent to the psychiatrist. She had ended her individual counselling sessions with the psychiatrist who had thought there wasn't much more to discuss about her brief affair and that more time should be devoted to couple counselling sessions.

It might have been self-consolation, but from what he had heard, Will surmised that Ashley's obsession with the bastard next door was based at least in large part on the illusion she had in her mind about the alternate future she could have with the bad boy type. An alternate future that was conveniently free of the burdens, stresses and tedium of normal married life, the life she now had.

She had conveniently ignored the stresses of life she would face if she had to live with someone like Jackass. Presumably, she figured all the nitty gritty details of life that were handled mostly by Will right now would automatically solve themselves. Will snorted in derision.

Reality obviously doesn't figure large in her alternate future.

Gradually, the thought took shape in Will's mind. He recalled with sudden clarity a presentation made by the geek students in the extra credit class on strategies. The Asian student had referred to a famous strategist Sun Tzu and concluded that victory was assured if one knew and understood one's enemies as one understood oneself. The student had concluded, "If you truly understand your enemies' weaknesses and strengths, you may use their weaknesses against them and overcome their strengths. Doing so, you will achieve victory."

Well, I have as much information on Ashley's affair and her perspective of matters as I can possibly have. Destroying her fantasies and illusions would strip Ashley of her defences against reality. Forcing Ashley to come face to face with the sordid nature of her affair instead of the romantic illusions she seemed determined to surround herself with would effectively decimate her sense of self worth. After all that self worth and vanity required romantic illusions to shield her sensibilities from her vulgar acts of betrayal in the first place. And if Ashley were so deluded as to think she could make a life with Jackass, all that had to be done would be to release all the information gathered so far to their friends and family . Hell, if the novel became successful, all he had to do was add those little words Based on a true story. Ashley would never live that down, the shame and stigma would ensure her isolation and in that, her own personal hell. Knowing Ashley, that inner torment would eat away at any external happiness. Eventually, she would blame the people around her, including Jackass.

That leaves only Jackass. He's moved away so that complicates things but presumably Margaret Miller will be a place to start. Damn it! It's going to cost money and the savings are running low after all the counselling and expenditure of the last couple of months. Still, any information that’ll take him down will be worth it.

Will slammed his fist on the steering wheel as he considered the difficulties he'd face with limited resources and the need to gather information on Jackass. He wondered distractedly about his agent and the publishers she was contacting.

He wondered with bitter humour if the tale of Ashley's affair would somehow pay for the means to destroy her fantasy and solve the problems thrown up by the affair.

Well, God works in mysterious ways, perhaps for once, he will be on my side.

Somehow, even he didn't believe that, thinking sourly how God could have prevented his wife from cheating if he were truly on his side.

Will was unaware but Fortune and Wisdom did smile on him as a meeting almost all the way across the country was set to change his life forever.

****

"Mr Everton, I assure you, Will is the real deal. The story as it stands right now is solid and I'm sure it will do well among readers. It's set to appeal across the gender and demographic divide, housewives, young career women, angry middle aged men."

Adam Everton looked coolly at the enthusiastic blonde trying to sell him her client's manuscript. He'd read it and was impressed but the publishing business was based on such razor thin margins these days, he couldn't afford to take the risk. Still, though he couldn't exactly place a finger on it but the book appealed to him. It struck a chord in that dark part of his psyche, the part that never allowed him to forget his dad's slow death over the years.

The old man had effectively died the day she left him. Till this day, Adam couldn't bring himself to refer to that woman as 'mom'. No, mom died the day that woman turned her back on the two crying kids held back by a sobbing man who was on his knees on their front porch begging her not to abandon their family, their marriage for that asshole who didn't even care what he was destroying. That woman had cried and professed her love for them even as she abandoned them.

Adam winced and blocked out the pain that inevitably followed those memories. The years of pain and anger that his old man felt and carried was all that Adam focused on. The many attempts that woman had made to reconcile with her estranged family only made Adam angrier when he recalled how his father lapsed into drink every time that woman contacted them.  She wouldn’t even let up when his dad was on his deathbed. Adam refused to acknowledge the fact that his father had requested the presence of his ex-wife or that the sad smile on the old man's face directed at his unfaithful wife before he closed his eyes for the last time.

 

The anger burning in his gut brought Adam out of the reverie he'd fallen into. That it reflected the pain he'd clearly felt in the words of the manuscript sealed the deal. Not a man given to impulse, Adam nevertheless decided to go with his gut feelings.

 

"Look, I'm going to be kind for once and give this guy a chance. Here's the advance," he said as he passed the cheque to the anxious agent.

He almost smiled as the blonde's eyes rounded at the amount stated on the cheque.

"Tell him, we need to see the rest of the manuscript within two months before we negotiate royalties and details. And, “he paused as his eyes narrowed menacingly.

"If he plays us for a fool, he'll be poison in this industry. Make sure he understands that."

"I will, I will."

"Good. Now let's think about some preliminary angles, it's based on a real life couple you say..."

****

Will stared disbelievingly at the cheque the agent had handed him, even as she giggled non-stop after she sat him down and delivered the news in a faux sombre manner. When she emailed and called asking for an urgent meeting a few days earlier, Will had been prepared for the worst. And when he first saw her with her face all serious for the first time since they were acquainted, his heart sank and his inner voice groaned with defeat.

"Will, I have some news for you from the publisher,” she had said slowly, hesitantly, as if afraid of the effect her words might have on him. Will noted she had averted her eyes as she spoke. Fully prepared to hear that his novel was trashed or rejected once again, Will emptied his mind and kept an iron grip upon his emotions while waiting for the verdict.  

"You're going to have to work your ass off and produce the rest of the novel before you can see another dime of the 90%!"

His agent fairly shrieked the words that stunned Will as his mind played catch up with his ears. Between trying to make sense of the excitable blonde who was laughing and trying to hug him from across the table and the piece of paper that had been dropped in his hands by the aforementioned blonde, Will found himself breathless. He tried to catch his breath and organise his thoughts when the blonde, suddenly cognizant of the numerous curious glances thrown their way, tried for some dignity as she sat back down and took a sip of her water.

Will looked up at the skies and the hint of spring sunlight that hovered teasingly on the edges of the puffy clouds that decorated the blue backdrop. He sent a silent thank you to the powers that be who had seen fit to send him a lucky break for once.

Two days later, he smiled in the brilliant sunshine that bathed him in gold as he stepped out of the bank where he'd opened a new account with the cash from the advance payment given by the publisher. He wasn't a millionaire but his mission of shining some light on the ephemeral fantasies and illusions of the adulterous pair was starting off on the right foot. As he stepped into the sunlight, Will revelled in the warmth of spring and its promise for new life for the first time since his world had turned upside down in fall. After all, wasn't moonlight a pale illusory reflection of the sun's illumination? 

Yes, destroying fantasies using the light of reality was going to be fun.

****

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,

To a Mouse by Robert Burns

Please read the rest of the series on Literotica.

Destroying Fantasies 1.1

This post comes after quite a number of readers asking where they could read Destroying Fantasies Part 1 after the Literotica site admins removed the story upon the request of the writer of The Man Next Door series, which Destroying Fantasies is the unauthorised sequel to. The much missed Destroying Fantasies Part 1  will be posted in two parts on this blog. Enjoy! 

Destroying Fantasies Part 1.1

This story is based on ‘The Man Next Door’ series by GirlInTheMoon. Reading that story was pretty horrifying in terms of how the husband was treated. This is my response to that story. That said I have nothing but respect for GirlInTheMoon, so please read her story before reading this and be warned, it’s long (2-part series) and could dismay readers expecting straight BTB. This is not an authorised sequel so please direct all criticism towards me and not the original writer. Enjoy!

Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.
John LeCarre

Chapter 1

Bill sat in the largely empty living room blindly staring straight ahead, thinking, "God, how I hated my wife." He had taken a gamble and lost. He was all alone in the darkness of that living room in a house he once shared with his wife. Darkness, interrupted only by the shafts of moonlight that penetrated the room through the windows, engulfed the silent house and him, the forsaken husband. The occasional glimmer of light from the house next door also intruded upon the dark silence Bill sat in.

"How ironic," he thought. "The bastard next door came over and stole my wife, now the light from his former house steals my solitude."

Will looked at the opening of the manuscript for the sequel to his highly successful bestselling debut novel, ‘The Fantasy Next Door’ and smiled bitterly. That scene had yet to take place but he fully expected it to shortly. Ashley was in Florida and would shortly meet Jackson ‘Jackass’ Miller, the bastard she had an affair with.

How did my life get this way? How did I get to this point? How did we get this far?

Will asked himself, in an ironic reflection of Bill's uncomprehending anguish in his novel. Each memory palpitated with the jagged emotions that lay intertwined inexorably with each image and thought. Though some were two years old, the emotions they evoked were raw, as if barely a day had passed since those events took place.

Will recalled the events of recent years as they surfaced in his memories, fragmented and intertwined inexorably with the emotions they evoked. His hand unconsciously traced the scar the fight had left on his cheek. It was hardly noticeable now but Will knew he would forever remember where it stood and the pain it represented for him. Not just physical pain, but the humiliation and emotional devastation of Ashley's betrayal of their marriage and love. That faded mark on his face was a mere reminder of the myriad scars that crisscrossed his heart and mind. Those scars trapped him in recurrent waves of bitter rage and pain that threatened to drown out the happy, optimistic man that he had been before he discovered his wife's affair.

He knew he had a part to play in Ashley straying. He had simply been working too hard, trying to earn more money to give them a better life. He remembered having a huge fight with Ashley at the start of that Fall that ended with him storming out of the house and returning only after midnight. He had signed up to teach extra credit classes, mainly for the geek class students who were a tad behind on their writing and humanities. At that point, his writing career had not taken off and he was trying his level best to make up for that disappointment through his teaching job. Ashley had triggered the sensitivity that always lurked beneath the happy face he tried to always have on with her remark on how she couldn't understand why he was working so hard when he was only a 'teacher'.

Granted, Ashley had not said 'teacher' but both of them knew what she was referring to. Will rarely lost his temper, but once he did, there was little one could do with it except to wait for it to burn itself out.

The night he stormed out of the house was also the night Ashley first met Jackass, a term of reference for that bastard next door that Will found entirely appropriate even if it was corny. In his bestselling debut novel, "The Fantasy Next Door", Will had written the scene of their meeting almost as a schoolgirl meeting her James Dean-like bad boy fantasy, a reflection of Ashley’s fantasy.

Will recalled another night almost a month after that fight, the day he had discovered Ashley's affair with that bastard and confronted them. Ashley had been feeling unwell, or so she claimed and had taken the day off. It had been another instance of her behaving out of character. He had noticed Ashley's strange behaviour of late but had brushed the feelings of unease aside with the excuse that she was merely having one of her mood swings or that it was one of those side effects of the stresses of life. He had felt guilty over their recent fight over his taking on more work. However, he felt they could do with the extra money and was putting aside some money for that cruise holiday he'd caught her looking at at a travel agent at the mall.

Will snorted now at the memory. Ashley had already pursued her own rest and recreation options of course, options that involved stepping out and getting strange cock. Specifically, the bastard next door. It was a Tuesday afternoon and Will hadn't had to teach extra credit classes that day and had left school early to check on his sick wife. He'd called home wanting to find out if she needed or wanted anything.  Of course, he hadn't known the only thing she needed or wanted then was Jackass. He'd arrived home and run straight up to the bedroom only to find it empty. Puzzled, Will checked the entire house. Ashley was nowhere to be seen. Her car was still outside, he had seen it when he got back. Where was Ashley?

Almost instinctively, he called her handphone, but heard it ring in the kitchen. She'd left it on the kitchen counter. Truly alarmed and afraid something had happened, he called Cathy, her co-worker and best friend.

Will barely remembered the conversation with Cathy, shock setting in after her frank statement once they were done with the preliminaries.

"Will, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think Ashley is with your next door neighbour... They have been having an affair.."

Will's heart was screaming out denial like a banshee even as his logical mind acknowledged the truth of the revelation. The obvious excitement Ashley showed over their new neighbour, her accepting the offer to ride on his bike, her strange behaviour when he called back during that weekend school trip he had had to go on a fortnight ago. And that strange drugstore run just last Saturday when she'd disappeared for two hours and came back mussed, dazed and smelling of something strange. He'd called Cathy too, concerned when Ashley hadn't appeared after an hour. Cathy had been uncharacteristically reticent and had merely assured him that Ashley was probably just driving around out of boredom. The pieces of the puzzle fell in place. Will didn't remember ending the call with Cathy but he must have because he was staring at his phone in his hand like a snake.

What Will's mind accepted, his body rebelled against, his insides felt like they were twisting  rivers of fire, his knees buckled and he was half bent over in dry heaves as his lunch threatened to spread itself across the porch.

Only after he'd calmed himself down with several deep breaths did he notice another neighbour Mrs Thompson staring at him from across the road.

She'd crossed the street and was on his porch.

"Will, are you ok?"

Will nodded silently.

"Are you looking for Ashley?"

Will nodded again, looking warily at her now.

"She's next door at the Miller's house. She's been there quite often since Margaret's son moved in."

The gleam of pity, curiosity and excitement that shone in Mrs Thompson's eyes was unmistakable. Will wasn't sure if the revulsion he felt was because of the clear signs of his marriage having become neighbourhood gossip without his knowledge or because he was receiving yet more confirmation of Ashley's affair.

Ignoring Mrs Thompson hovering with obvious curiosity on his porch, Will made his way slowly to his neighbour's house. The short walk seemed like a journey of a thousand miles, his feet leaden, his stomach hurting, and his heart dripping blood with every step. Did he really want that final confirmation of Ashley's infidelity? Could he deal with her betrayal?

It took forever but he finally rang the bell. Jackass answered the door, barely clothed. One look at him and Will knew what Cathy and Mrs Thompson said was true.

He ignored Jackson's feeble attempts at lying about the whereabouts of Ashley. And before he realised it, he was screaming out for Ashley to show herself.

Will felt all his strength desert him, it was almost as if his muscles had stopped working and he slumped. Ashley was standing in the doorway, her body barely concealed by a towel wrapped around her. She looked stunned and dazed. Looking at the two adulterers standing almost naked in front of him, Will felt waves of humiliation, rage and grief engulf him. Staring in disgust at his wife and her fuckbuddy, Will saw Ashley slowly come out of her dazed state. The tears that sprang to her eyes merely triggered cynicism in him. Was she sorry she had an affair or sorry she got caught?

Not quite cognizant of what he was saying, Will turned his anger on Jackass.

"You like fucking married women huh?"

The bastard sneered. "Only those who come to me."

Will watched in disgust as Ashley looked stricken at her lover's indirect admission that she had been the one to step out in search of an adulterous affair.

Feeling the fight almost drain out of him at the undeniable betrayal of his wife, Will stared at the adulterous pair. When he looked back on that moment, Will realised the defiant and smug look of victory in Jackass' eyes was what triggered the fight. While Jackass was bad boy biker, Will was no pushover, having been an athlete for much of his school life. They were even matched and was trying their best to throw punches and shove each other's head into the pavement. Jackass got lucky when Will was momentarily distracted by Ashley trying to stop the fight while warily skirting the men. He shoved Will's head so forcefully against the stone pavement that Will's left cheek was cut. Will saw stars for the next few minutes as his head and cheek hurt something fierce. Ashley's towel had slipped, leaving her naked in front of the whole neighbourhood, crying and staring at the two of them fighting.

By that time, Mrs Thompson, who had watched all of the action with the avid eagerness of a telenovela fan, had called the police and emergency services. Much of the neighbourhood who were around that afternoon had gathered and were watching the farce of a marital tragedy play out. Mrs Thompson gave her statement to the police officers who arrived and were separating the men and trying to cover the naked Ashley who was simply on her knees on the ground, her towel next to her. Will thought with bitter irony that the scene could have come out of a trashy romance novel or even a bad episode of some TV drama. And if Ashley had a huge red S on her forehead denoting the slut she was, they would be set for a stage play with the central scene of the punishment of the cheating wife. Except this would be too easy for Ashley. The depth of his hatred and fury surprised even Will himself.

Will was on autopilot for the rest of the evening. He ignored Ashley and her sad puppy eyes which darted in his direction every so often. The doctor had reminded him to return to the hospital if he felt pain or had a bad headache. He also reassured Will that the scar on his cheek would probably fade after a while though cosmetic surgery was an option he could pursue. Will was tempted to ask him if there was a procedure that would remove the raw wounds on his heart and heal the scars left by the horns Ashley had hung on him.

He said nothing. Ashley's apprehension at what he might say in front of the hospital staff was written all over her face. And the police officers who had accompanied them to the hospital had briefed the staff regarding the case. The nurse who took care of the gash on his cheek had that look of pity mixed with curious scorn in her eyes. It told him what everyone thought: he was the poor fool of a cuckold husband, betrayed by his slut of a wife and injured by her adulterous lover. How useless and pathetic!

When they made it back to his house, Will noted that the house next door was dark. No sign of Jackass was around. Ashley had followed him into the house, her head lowered in guilt. He was aware of the curious tension in the air in the neighbourhood. He'd seen several neighbours on their porch, some craning their necks and staring over at his house. Mrs Thompson was openly staring from her front porch and was probably regaling someone on the phone with the latest update on the neighbourhood Jezebel and her foolish husband.

Deciding he needed something to counter the burn of acid in his stomach, Will reached for the whisky bottle he hadn't touched in ages. Ashley was talking and he responded almost automatically, even as his mind shut out the painful situation. All of the useless words and apologies coming out of Ashley's mouth was white noise. He stared at her, wondering if he knew this stranger that the ring on his hand told him he was married to. Tired of the meaningless words she was throwing at him and seeing her cower from the rage flashing in his eyes, Will knew he had to get away from the woman he called wife before he did something he would regret. So he threw her out, ending with the twist that he knew would hurt her.

"I wouldn't go to Cathy's... She was the one who told me about your affair."

The look of pain and shame at her best friend's betrayal of her secret gave Will a brief moment of satisfaction. He realised Ashley had cocooned herself and her affair in layers of protective secrecy. This was how she preserved her delight at her secret affair. He'd always known the store Ashley placed on how others perceived her. By revealing how her friend felt about her adulterous behaviour, he was somehow stripping away a layer of protection that allowed her to wallow in delight in her secret affair. His mind filed away the feeling of how pleasurable stripping away Ashley's protective layers and exposing her to reality felt and the insight he had into Ashley's mind. Even if he didn't consciously acknowledge it, he knew instinctively this was a weakness he could exploit in the battles that lay ahead. For yes, he was now fighting a battle, not just with Jackass but also his treacherous wife.

Will listened as Ashley left his house and was half relieved when he heard her car as she drove away. He had half expected her to simply pop next door and openly stay the night with Jackass.

Will spent the rest of the night drinking morosely as he contemplated the ruins of his marriage in the house they had begun it in. Just 24 hours ago, he'd never imagine Ashley was capable of cheating on him or betraying him in the worst way possible. Now he was not only sitting in his kitchen faced with the irrefutable evidence of her betrayal, he had to wonder if there was anything left of their marriage.

He vaguely remembered calling his mother-in-law before drinking himself into a stupor. Again, it was probably an instinctive reaction on his part, knowing how her reaction would hurt Ashley more than any physical wound he could inflict. He remembered sobbing and shouting on the phone but not much more.

Night passed into day and the dull pain in his cheek and head flared into searing burns as he heard the scream of the bike next door. He'd started up but the scream of the bike had faded by the time he stumbled to the door. Only Mrs Thompson was in sight as he stared round the neighbourhood, almost spoiling for a fight. He went on to smash Ashley's grandmother's ugly chintz ware.

Will sat back down, his mind still a blank. One part of him screamed out, "Just divorce that cheating slut! What are you waiting for? She has shat all over her marriage vows, there's nothing left of your marriage.”

Yet another part of him shouted out “No! I won't let her go just like that. I can't let them win! There must be a way, we've been together for so long. I don't believe she has lost all her love for me!”

His mind scoffed at him. “No, she's not lost her love for you. In fact she has developed so much love that she's now sharing it with the neighbour!”

Will ground the heels of his palms into his eyes and brows as an involuntary groan of heartsick agony tore out of his mouth. He felt like a bipolar patient, pulled in so many different directions. Only one thought was consistent and clear, he could not afford to lose Ashley. Pushing Ashley away now would mean pushing her into the arms of Jackass and that was something Will could not stomach. It was that which finally made him agree to work with Ashley when she turned up unexpectedly later that evening. She'd rushed into the house, screaming his name in a panic. The concern and worry in her eyes almost made him crumble. He wanted so much to shake her and ask her 'Why?'. Except he didn't trust himself to touch her at the moment without giving in to the temptation to hurt her. And he really didn't want to touch her after witnessing her naked state at Jackass' house barely 24 hours ago.

Will knew he was a pathetic fool when he felt himself soften towards the woman he loved. A casual glance at the reflective surface of the fridge as he laid out his demands that she never meet with Jackass again brought the flame of rage back into his guts. Ashley had glanced almost reflexively at the house next door and her fists were clenched when she promised never to see Jackass again. It was at that moment that Will decided he was not going to let them off so easily.

Will woke up the next morning almost believing that the last two days had been a long nightmare. A look in the mirror as he washed up in preparation for returning to school dashed his hopes. No, Ashley stepping out to get strange was a fact. His finding out about her affair was real. The fight with Jackass was real. Equally true was the fact that much of the neighbourhood had witnessed the debacle. Will groaned as he remembered the vice principal's daughter lived next to Mrs Thompson. News of the scandal had probably spread all over the neighbourhood and probably in school as well. And Mrs Thompson, now that he thought about it, was best friends with Ashley's boss' mother-in-law. A wry grin almost appeared on his face as the thought of Ashley's affair being exposed without a move of his own triggered a twinge of dark delight in him. A mere week ago, Will would have been horrified at the thought of finding delight in his wife's suffering. Now, the glint of delight in the eyes of the scarred man staring back at him in the mirror caused no guilt. It was the same face that stared back at him all the years since he became a man and not a boy. The only physical difference noticeable were the scar that now ran across his left cheek and the dark shadows that ran beneath his eyes. Yet, it was a stranger's eyes that stared back at him that morning. The wealth of pain and rage that lay in those eyes turned them to steel. A hardness that Will had always held in check, wrapped and concealed in the love and optimism he had for his marriage and future family, now lurked and prowled like a beast set free from its cage. Will drew the well-used mask of indifference he'd used primarily in public over his face before he exited the bathroom. He'd been quiet as usual, the polite practice of not disturbing Ashley's sleep having become habitual over the years.

Just before he left, he stood looking down at his wife as she lay on the living room couch, pretending to be still asleep. Her tensed frame when he walked to stand next to her told him she was awake. The slight flinch as his hand lightly caressed her face almost made him snort bitterly. The woman who betrayed him and caused him such pain was afraid he'd hurt her.

He sighed and left, not wishing to confront her in the face of the inevitable trial that awaited him in school.

Will found his worst fears over the spread of news regarding Ashley's affair and the fight were realised the minute he stepped into school. The hallways were packed with colleagues and students, many of whom were openly staring at him and whispering to their friends. His colleagues looked at him like they would a freak show, the same mix of curious scorn and pity in their eyes. One told him quietly that the vice principal wanted to see him in her office once he appeared. The man looked uncomfortable as he spoke to Will, uncertain of what he could say to the poor cuckold who stood next to him.

Will groaned inside but made his way to the vice principal's office. After the usual polite small talk, the elderly lady had looked directly at Will and offered to reschedule his extra credit classes so he could take time to 'be with family and sort out some personal problems'. Will found his first public smile in almost 72 hours as the elderly lady reassured him that she would help him fill in the necessary paperwork explaining his unexpected absence from school the day before and that she would approve any leave he might feel was necessary in the next few weeks. Her last words of encouragement before he exited her office almost made tears rise in his eyes.

"Young man, it might seem like the end of the world now but one day, you'll look back on this as nothing more than a bump in the road of life. Take these as words of experience from one who has seen too much of this world."

Will had gone off to his classes feeling a tad better despite the stares and whispering that continued to be thrown in his direction all day long. He went through all his classes on autopilot, broken only by the breaks that afforded him time to think. He wasn't sure what he wanted in terms of his marriage. He was, however, sure he didn't want to give the adulterous pair an easy opportunity to further indulge themselves by divorcing her. Yet even that was dependent on his finding out how far their adulterous affair had progressed. He hadn't wanted to hear the details of her affair from Ashley which would have lacked credibility and ensured greater humiliation. No, he didn't trust her now but she was the only source of information he wanted and needed.

His conundrum had him frowning when he walked into the room where his extra credit class waited. He had always liked this class, it was mainly a bunch of the school's geeks. They were great at math and science, often topping the school ranks in those subjects but they lagged in the humanities and in writing. The school had wanted to remove the main obstacles in these students' path towards Ivy League university admissions and he had agreed to take them on. Most of the students had been distant, not quite trusting the handsome teacher who they guessed had been part of the popular crowd in school, the very crowd that often ostracised them. All that changed when rumours regarding Will's cheating wife and his humiliation spread around the school. Suddenly, the geeks thought of Will as a fellow human, not one of the invincible in-crowd creeps who bullied them. They recalled how he had reached out to them during classes and tried to help them better express themselves. And they found themselves empathising with the man who seemed slumped in defeat as he walked into class today after an unexpected absence the day before.

Will noticed the students were more attentive in class but didn't wonder about the cause. He noted their attitude towards him was less distant and more friendly. A thought struck him as several hung around after class to chat about their latest projects, mostly apps that allowed covert surveillance of individuals through their phones and computers. They offered a potential solution to his need for information that could be relied upon. Will found real interest in their subject of discussion for the first time. In any case, he wasn't too eager to get home and face his wife even though he knew he had to keep an eye on her.

"Guys, are there apps that could be installed on someone's phone or computer that would allow you to monitor their email, conversations and maybe even record them?" Will asked in as casual a manner as he could.

The students smiled cautiously and answered tentatively that it was probably illegal but not impossible. When Will showed no reaction to the potential legal consequences, the students relaxed and discussed keystroke logs, backdoors and spyware. Ultimately, the brightest one of them, an Asian American student offered to copy his latest app and software modification onto a USB drive that Will could pick up from him the next day in class. His fellow classmates, eager not to be outdone, had offered to order the recording devices and cameras that Will needed but was hesitant to order for delivery to his own address. Will promised to pay the students the cost of the orders and thanked them sincerely, sincerity that won over the last vestiges of caution they naturally had around adults.

****

When Will left school, he was feeling much better. He finally had some idea of the direction forward. While he had no idea where exactly he and Ashley were headed, he felt an easing of the rage borne out of helplessness. He was taking action and that was all that mattered right at that moment.

By Friday afternoon, Will had in his hands the USB flash drive and several recording devices, including cameras that the students had promised to set him up with. When he asked how they could have gotten everything so quickly, the quietest geek in the group owned up to being an online retailer of such "surveillance essentials". He also had in his notebook, full instructions for setting up accounts that would store and organise all the audio and visual recordings that he needed as well as meticulous notes on how to install all the devices and spyware. The Asian student had volunteered to help him install some of the cameras but Will, mindful of his nosy neighbours, didn't want further suspicion aroused and so had politely declined. The student laughed and reminded him to install and test the equipment, adding helpfully that "we're all ready to help if you find some things don't work, Teach!" The students were rewarded by one of Will's smiles, a sight rarely seen since the domestic incident made him miss school earlier in the week.

No one in the neighbourhood thought much of it when Will's car pulled into the driveway just before evening that Friday. There were few people around to notice the teacher who had often been home late break his pattern that day. Ashley had scheduled a grocery run after work and Cathy had promised to accompany her, or so the text message said. So no one noticed the teacher moving rapidly around the kitchen and the rest of the house, adjusting what looked like small bolts into the door frames while checking his laptop intermittently.

Will was glad he was nifty with his hands as he hurried around the house, installing all the cameras and listening devices. While the help offered by the students would have sped things up considerably, the risk of exposure would have been too great. Plus, the risk of the students talking and spreading rumours was one he didn't want to take. He did, however, make a mental note to thank the students who'd ordered the devices for their thoughtfulness in purchasing extra blocks of batteries which would last him for months.

He was tightening the receiver of the kitchen phone when he heard the sound of Ashley's car pull into the driveway. Gathering all the packaging and any items that might arouse suspicion, he stuffed them into his duffel bag and sat down in the kitchen chair, pretending to work on lesson plans.

Ashley's surprise when she saw him home early was muted by the same awkwardness that now haunted their interaction. Ashley prepared their dinner in silence and they ate in silence. Neither seemed willing to break the invisible wall that seemed to separate them. The scream of the bikes next door merely made Ashley wince as she saw Will tense up at the noise.

When Ashley couldn't take the tension anymore, she decided to take a bath. Will sensed an opportunity to install the spyware and asked to borrow her phone and computer to run checks on some issues he had with his laptop. Ashley, glad to be of any assistance to the husband she'd hurt so badly, unlocked her phone and logged into the computer before escaping into the bathroom.

Left to his own devices and knowing Ashley would not end her bath in any short space of time, Will carefully inserted the USB flash drive and installed the spyware on Ashley's computer. Synchronising her computer with his laptop, Will sent a test email from her mailbox to a dummy mailbox created by the students and saw to his satisfaction that an alert and a copy of the same email immediately popped up on his laptop. Within 30 minutes, the code that Will had loaded into Ashley's computer had indexed and tagged every single file she had on her disk and sent a copy to a cloud account the students had created for him.

Will smiled as he remembered how sceptical he had been when the students claimed he could lay his hands on every single file on the computer he wanted to spy on. He chuckled when he recalled the geeks' boast that "every future file and item created by the user will be tagged and a copy sent immediately, so even if they erase or delete it, you'll have a copy Teach!"

After he connected with the webpage the students had told him about, he downloaded on Ashley's phone the app that they had created and soon every single bit of data on that phone appeared on his account. He did a test call to one of the students and five minutes later found an audio file in his account that was a recording of the test call.

Pleased, Will sat back and started watching the live feed from the cameras installed around the house. It was surreal watching himself sitting in the kitchen on the computer but the experience seemed a fitting reflection of the nightmare his life had become after the discovery three days ago.  Idly, he switched the view to the cameras in the bedroom and bathroom. He watched dispassionately as his wife sat in the bathtub and stared at her hand, a large tear rolling down her cheek as she rubbed the ring on her finger wistfully and a barely audible whisper came out of her mouth, "I'm so sorry Will."

Will fought back the pity and love that he felt welling up almost instinctively inside. Almost as if his body felt he needed a reminder, the wound on his left cheek throbbed. No, he couldn’t let her off that easily. Will clung onto the rage and pain to keep off the weak thoughts of relenting and forgiveness.

****

Three weeks later, Will found himself screeching to a stop a few metres away from the steep drop in the more remote, hilly part of the county. At night, this was an ideal destination for young couples looking for privacy for a make out session. In the afternoon, it was a quiet place that attracted no one. No one except for a desperately angry husband. The cameras and recording devices around the house had turned up very little. There were occasions when they caught Ashley staring wistfully at the house next door, but she had made no move to contact the bastard next door.

When Ashley tentatively brought up counselling, Will had agreed since they were at an impasse. Their first session was awkward with little said by both who found talking to a stranger about their marital affairs difficult. Will realised he would never hear the full truth about Ashley's affair from her lips, given her reluctance to hurt him further by talking about it openly. Hence, he readily agreed to pay for extra individual counselling sessions for Ashley.  The irony that the payment came from the extra money he'd earned taking on those extra credit classes and extra work that drove a deeper wedge between Ashley and him and gave her the opportunity to step out on him did not escape Will. He merely swallowed the bitter irony the way he swallowed his meals at home, quickly and without thinking. He was numbing himself with work, spying and clubbing. The last meant that he was out many nights but he justified it to himself -- Ashley wouldn't react honestly if he was always there, so he was giving her opportunities to show her slutty self and if he had evidence of it, he could destroy her in court.

He had had several hook-ups, mostly women who had been attracted to him in the clubs and weren't averse to be getting laid in the backseat or at their apartments. It wasn’t so much revenge as the need to prove himself a man after his wife demonstrated her need to seek satisfaction from her fuckbuddy. Ashley seemed to be oblivious to his activities despite him returning late and quite drunk. There were occasions on which she seemed ready to say something but bit back her words.

Among these “reassurances” Will found at the clubs was a young blonde whom he found strangely familiar but was unable to place. In many ways, she reminded him of his girlfriends back in college before he met Ashley. The blonde had been eager to please and had him down her throat before he even got the car door closed. The sight of those red lips wrapped around the base of his cock and the red nails caressing his balls was enough to get him harder than he could remember in a long time. When she lowered her tight pussy onto him, Will knew he was about to have the best lay of his married life.  

She rode him fast and hard, massaging his sensitive cock with her tight grasping walls. It was such an overwhelming experience that Will only remembered he'd not had the opportunity to use the customary condom he'd insisted on using with his other hook-ups seconds before he came in her. The blonde shrieked at the hot geyser that hit her cervix and tightened inexorably around him, milking his cum to the last shot.

He was puzzled by her last words as she pulled up her thong and pulled down the blouse that was bunched up under her armpits. She had kissed him wetly on his lips and whispered in his ears in a breathy giggle, "You don't remember me Will but I guarantee you'll remember this night. See you around sometime. And don't tell my parents you saw me tonight."

Then she had left, her high heels clicking awkwardly as she tried to hold the cum inside her while walking back to the club. That encounter had been the last of his hook-ups since the thought that he may have fucked the daughter or sister of someone he knew brought him to his senses. He couldn't risk everything to blow some steam and get back at his cheating wife.

The sexual release was fine, perhaps a good bit better than the release that masturbation offered. But Will needed much more. What Ashley did wasn't just physical or sexual.

No, she had made me question my adequacy as a man, a lover and a husband. From the moment she stepped out and got strange, she'd thrown me away. She'd thrown us away. And now, I‘m not sure where to look or find myself again.

The bitterness Will felt at Ashley’s betrayal grew and ate at his very soul. There were times he wanted to simply just divorce the cheating bitch, but that stubborn devil inside him protested that such a move would be letting her off too easily.

Deprived of this sexual vent, Will's frustration grew. It was compounded by the details of Ashley's affair that were emerging. Just before Ashley went for her first individual counselling session, Will had presented her with a new bag as a make up present for his smashing her grandmother's ugly chintz. The guilt on Ashley's face increased Will's secret delight since she evidently had no idea that he decided to present her with the new bag because he'd asked one of the students to equip it with a recorder and pinhole camera. It would be perfect for his spying on her counselling sessions. And to ensure she would use the new bag instead of the old one, he conveniently spilled coffee and milk soaked cereal all over her old bag the morning of her first session. His delight was short-lived as Will heard over the course of the next few weeks details of Ashley's affair.

Ashley had been unwilling to connect with the counsellor and seemed ill at ease revealing details of her affair during counselling sessions. The counsellor understood her reluctance.

"Ashley, I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable revealing intimate details of your affair to relative strangers like me. But unless you understand why you did what you did, we can't hope to resolve this and there will be little hope of salvaging your marriage."

After some thought, Ashley agreed to the counsellor's suggestion that she keep an audio journal detailing her affair with Jackson, sending the journal entry files to the counsellor so she wouldn't feel overly exposed or judged. As the weeks went by, Ashley became more comfortable and started revealing more details, unaware that all the files she sent from her personal accounts and computer made Will front row audience of her confessional performance. He heard in excruciating detail how Ashley had experienced the "best sex" and "best orgasms" of her life with Jackass. Ashley had even claimed that she and Jackass shared a special connection, something she felt she wouldn't ever feel again in her life; the adulterous pair got each other in a way no one else did. Will's knuckles turned white gripping the steering wheel as he recalled how Ashley had described "resisting" his lovemaking after he'd returned from the chaperone trip the weekend she'd first fucked the bastard next door. Somehow the poor husband was now the "invader" and was the poor fuck compared to her dickhead lover. So poorly did he compare to Jackass that she had to fake an orgasm.

His growing rage was matched only by his anguish at the thought that he had truly lost to that bastard. Will ran out of the car and stared into down the drop. For a moment he contemplated simply ending his life. It would be so easy stepping over, into thin air. After all, Ashley's betrayal already did him in.  

Then he imagined what would happen after they discovered everything. The answer sobered him up. Nothing. Oh sure, there might be some guilt on the part of Ashley. But that guilt would be hardly enough for her to ever break things off with Jackass. Instead, she would probably take the chance to officially hook up with that bastard. He would simply be paving the way for them to legitimise their adulterous relationship.  And it would be literally over his dead body.

No. Fucking. Way.

He wouldn't put it past the selfish bitch he'd married to let guilt be no barrier. After all, it sure didn't stop her from having the affair in the first place! Will stepped back from the edge.

No, I'm going to punish the pair of them in the worst way possible.

A range of violent and illegal acts ran through Will's mind, all of which ended in him either dying or suffering in the state penitentiary.

But why should I suffer along with them? I've done nothing wrong. As if it isn't enough that they betrayed me, now I have to suffer for putting things right? No. There has to be a better way. There has to be a way which satisfies me but hits them where it hurts.

Watch for the second half on this same blog!